my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
smell my finger.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
