I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
