Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
