I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
