so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize