I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
