Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
