I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
