Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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