i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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