Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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