drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
