Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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