Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
