please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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