Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So vagazzling was a success
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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