So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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