Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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