guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she told me i tasted like america
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
