i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You ate ashes out of my bong
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
