Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need water and some morals
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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