ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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