Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
