Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
