There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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