based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize