ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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