If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
