Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
