the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
