Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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