You're completely useless in the revolution.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize