my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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