whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
