I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
