She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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