im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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