After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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