This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
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You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
