Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
