all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
