Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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