Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
