Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
