i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
