If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
