White coat. Heels.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
