It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
