And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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