this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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