If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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