direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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