and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
