People in love make me want to vomit
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
