they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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