i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
