my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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