My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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