What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
