Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Princesses don't give blow jobs
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Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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