So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
