Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize