Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
