Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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