if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You need a sexual gate keeper
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
