yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
