so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
