Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
