Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
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There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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