Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
